machine

May 16th, 2018by brandedturmeric

I used to think both of us were crazy in a way
But I’m starting to think
Maybe I am the one who is really crazy
Am I
I never thought I was crazy
But somehow maybe I am
Or at least emotionally unbalanced
It is very strange
To realize this about yourself
It’s like discovering you are another species
Everyone goes through this, they say
People have this, they say
Maybe they do
Maybe we are some species
Or maybe I don’t know
Maybe I’m just a regular person
Who is just like everybody else
Maybe there are people in their rooms crying and writing in a journal
Maybe there are people who feel trapped by themselves
Inside themselves
Maybe there are people who want things but hate things but love things but don’t want them around
And the maelstrom continues in their heads
Spinning Spinning Spinning Spinning Spinning
A storm
But not lovingly chaotic
More like, you have all these boxes
And you have stuff to put in the boxes
But the things don’t fit or they get lost
And nothing actually is inside a box properly
They’re inside but they don’t fit well and it’s like nothing is quite synching up like a triangle being forced into a circle
And the boxes are getting bruised
And the corners are chipping off
And you are tired of that
Of things not working, half-working, working just barely
In your head
It is an old steam engine in a world of electronics and oil
Whirrs and clicks and brzzzzz
Never actually working
But some semblance of “everything is fine”
Just enough to keep going
Keep pressing play
Keep going past go
Keep collecting 100
Until

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