My life… so far

So today I told my mum that I’ve been wanting to well kill myself and she just blew me off. I’ve told her I’m the past and she has the same reaction all the time. I pour my heart out and tell her literally everything but she doesn’t even look at me and just says “okay but sort it out yourself”.

The thing is my mum has depression and other things wrong with her so it makes home life hard. I have 6 siblings and only one of them is older, I feel like I’m trapped looking after my younger siblings because my mum can’t get up in the morning and she’s constantly tired. She doesn’t have time for us and lately she’s been going out to the shop and disappearing for hours until we chase her up we don’t know where she is but she’s always out drinking. I try to make her feel better by looking after my siblings but I have my exams and the stress has been effecting my work so much I come out of my exams knowing I’ve failed.

I don’t know what to do anymore and there’s times I want to end it all but I can’t because I think about my other siblings and know my mum can’t cope. She juggles two jobs so I k own she’s trying her best and we sometimes don’t have enough money to have better things and we eat the same meals on each day of the week. I need to find something to take my mind off it all but I can’t because I have no money and nowhere to go.