I really hope that maybe I can find somebody to reach out to?
I have sex addiction. It’s 4am. I’m sitting here with a rusty razor.
I need help. I just feel so much shame.
I am dressed like a hooker while my husband sleeps… I just really wanted to look sexy for myself.
I’m sitting in front of the mirror.
I haven’t cut for so long but tonight I need a reason not to.
Please help.
2 comments
Do you want to have sex with your husband or with other people? Let’s say if he was awake instead of asleep right now…
And I thought men love it if their woman wants to have sex all the time…?
Do you have any other outlets for coping with your feelings? Other than self-harm and sex? That’s what I struggle with – the underlying feelings that drive me toward compulsive behavior. Night time and when I’m tired are always most difficult. Shame is tricky. Do you think talking it through with someone understanding might help to overcome it? If you can put your shame in perspective (understand why things are as they are) then maybe it will ease a little? I guess that’s a long term solution though.
Short term…? Remind yourself how unsexy scars are? Try to remember your reasons for not wanting to rely on that as a coping mechanism anymore. Focus on whatever else in your life motivates you (love, self-preservation, self-respect, life goals). Put as much distance between yourself and the razor as you can. Do something else you enjoy that’s healthier for you. And then sleep. And maybe tomorrow things will be a little easier.