Should I just stop?

  May 8th, 2018 by Nevermind_

My life is such a mess right now. I don’t think it has ever been wors than this.

I have never really had any friends and I’ve always been the middle kid who didn’t got any attention, but it had never botherd me as much before. I was fine with just being on my own. I mean i would have liked to have friends but I was okay with it. But I’m almost 20 and I still have no one. I feel so Fucking lonely and I feel this dark hole in side of me which I can’t seem to fill. When I was younger and I felt that way I started drawing or do anything else I liked. But now nothing satisfies me any more. Every thing just sucks. I feel so hollow inside.

I don’t think I can live this life any longer. I used to be such a happy kid, But i can barely remeber what it feels like to be happy, it has been so damn long.

I’ve been going through this depression for 7 years now and in all those years no one has even noticed. Or they just don’t care. When I tell people how I feel and what I’m going through, they just think I want attention or that I’m over reacting. “You’re just a little sad, You’ll get over it. But they don’t under stand, I need some one, just some one finaly to listen to me, to hear me, to fucking help me already. Is it so wrong of me to ask that? Am I being selfish for wanting some one?

Lately everything has just been so hard. And i just keep telling my self tomorrow is gonna be better, but is never is. Every day this dark hole just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And I don’t know what to do about it. There is no one I can turn to, how do I fix this by myself, or should I just stop trying and just be done?

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