The World wants me to die

When it really comes down to it, no one cares if you live or die. Everyone’s looking out for themselves.
But, I think I’ve tilted that a little and now most people I’ve interacted with would be relieved, if not pleased, if I died. I think this is mostly true of health professionals, they’ve seen me a lot at the local mental health unit and ER and I think the only thing that goes through their mind is “if you really want to die then goddamn do it and stop bothering us”.
I can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. They say the things they have to half-heartedly and there’s that undertone screaming “die, die, die”
They’re right, I should goddamn do it. I’m a nuisance to everyone, especially those that I wanted help from. Health professionals hate dealing with mental health and they don’t really bother to hide it.
It’s the unspoken rule that we have the right to die, and it is ok, maybe even good, to do it.