Why do I keep going back?

  May 31st, 2018 by Justaclique

So, idk how to start this but here goes.

(Sorry it’s so long)

I keep going back to this same guy just because he’s the only person who’s ever really liked me for me. He doesn’t ever want a relationship but I always have, but when I bring it up he pushes it aside and doesn’t want to talk about it because he always has an excuse. I know what some people are gonna say, that it’s a toxic relationship or that he doesn’t give a shit and ik all of that but, I can’t get him out of my head. He’s the only thing stopping me from ending it tbh. He asks if I’m okay, we joke around and he tries to make me feel better.

I keep going back because I can’t get anyone better. Who wants a relationship with me. I mean I have friends and they  are so nice but I don’t fit in because they are all so gorgeous. Whenever I get close to someone it’s only to ask about my friends and that makes me feel even more shitty.

The sad reality is we won’t ever be together and it kills me but what kills me even more is the thought of not having someone to talk to, he’s my lifeline and I don’t know if I can carry on. We fell out and haven’t spoken in weeks. I’m seriously debating whether I have anyone left due to having a shitty home life.

I have nothing left and I’m at a dead end.

Processing your request, Please wait....