So I want to die. Like honestly. I’m so done with everything. Mom’s banning me from watching Criminal Minds (Because it’s “corrupting my mind”) and my parents took all the locks off my doors and I really just want to cut. I’m tired of living here and I’m already sick of summer break. Goddddd. Just frustrated.
I can’t figure out my gender either. Like I thought I was agender but then what if I’m FTM trans? I dunno. I’m just realizing this now too. It’s not something I ever knew from a young age. Is that even possible? Also, can you be FTM trans without bottom dysphoria? cause I know it requires dysphoria of some sort and I have chest dysphoria but not really bottom? Ugh. I feel like I’m faking it.
My dad is open to it but also thinks that I need to focus on therapy right now and he thinks it might change in the future. My mom is a conservative Christian when it comes to LGBT things and doesn’t even believe me, saying I’m reaching for the easiest solution/answer.
Just fuck.
7 comments
As much as I’d like to give your post the reply it is deserving of I, unfortunately, do not have an opportunity to do so for multiple reasons; however, I did, at the very least, want to say something, because I feel it is important to acknowledge one anothers whenever we do happen to notice someone in their time of need.
So… this is me letting you know that it doesn’t matter what you watch, who’s happy with you on any given day, or whether you identify as an iridescent being with a fetish for octagons. None of that matters, because none of those things are who you are. They’re just tiny pieces of potential for the greatness you can bring to the world.
I know I can’t stop you, as the decision is yours to make… and yours alone. I can tell you that I’d totally be interested in hearing more about your views on gender identity though, so stick around… yeah? Not for me, but for yourself.
Be safe; Remain Blessed, -Kev
Thanks. It really means a lot to me and I really appreciate it.
\
hey hey hey
calm down
breeeeath
okay
it’s alright
will write you again tonight
just try to calm down please <3
Thanks. I really appreciate it. Not really up for writing more rn but thanks for the support.
most most most welcome
& you don’t need to write anything
i’m the one who’ll write
okay
I don’t know what to say about being Agender and the spectrum of that identity, but I can speak from experience about being FtM. Growing up I was always very boyish and hated ‘girly’ things. I wore my brothers clothes and got my hair cut short at a young age. I hate being seen as feminine and stay far away from things seen that way. I had crippling body (top and bottom) dysphoria and I identify as FtM. I have a friend who loved My little pony and glitter growing up. My friend has bright dyed hair, perfect makeup and loves making their own cosplay. He also identifies as FtM. Both of us are completely valid but have very different experiences with our identities and gender expression. Even just a Google search will prove that. Everybody has a different experience and feel differently about their bodies, for example, there is a porn star who happens to be FtM and still uses his given parts and is open and proud about it. Some trans people don’t get any surgeries at all and that’s also perfectly fine. Some trans people don’t even know that they’re trans until they’re in their 50’s or later so you don’t have to know from a young age to be trans. Every person is different and I’m sorry that I ended up telling you about that on this website. Gender can be confusing for some people and I hope that you live long enough to figure out how you identify.
Oh. Ok. Thanks. This really helps me.