This place hates me. It’s always the same.
But I’ve been so desperate to be proven wrong…
Taking what was left of my already damaged trust. Placing it in someone when I was at my most vulnerable. I feel violated. Betrayed in the exact way I opened up about. The one and only thing I asked for was truth. It was a final attempt. It took me my entire life to start giving up on people. Trusting individuals; against instinct, against all odds. Believing at face value, hoping to not be hurt, hoping not to be lied to, hoping things will be different. They lie for selfish reasons. They manipulate, use, and betray. Sometimes they do it because they think it’s right, sometimes telling the truth is too hard, and sometimes just because they can. They hide their intentions, their motives, their objectives, their actions – to get what they want. I don’t hold it against any of them, it’s just how it is. Maybe that’s how it has to be, otherwise they’d end up like me.
But I’ve finally learned my lesson: everyone lies.
Maybe it’s my turn to lie? Maybe it’s my turn to get what I want? To lie so that I can finally leave.
But… I still want to trust… So desperately…
Now I know I can’t.