Final Preparations!

Hello, everyone!

For those of you who read my post the week before last, I’m glad to know that I have given you at least something to think about. I hope you can find the answers you seek.

I had completely forgotten about my stepson coming by for the weekend as I was preparing, so I ended pushing off the date and otherwise got derailed, but otherwise I’m back on track for my final act.

This week, I am working on getting rid of my stuff. I haven’t had as much as I thought I did, but I have started packing away things like old clothes to go to the women’s shelter here. If you’re planning on doing your final act with some serious planning, homeless shelters and charities are always looking for *clean* clothes in good condition. Don’t be sending them your used underwear, as that’s gross, but shirts/pants/shoes/shorts are good to go. My husband asked what I was doing, it looks like I’m moving out, and I told him I was just getting rid of things that didn’t fit or I don’t wear anymore.

I have some other things that are a little more difficult to get rid of, as I don’t have a car and would look suspicious if I gave them away. My sewing machine and all the fabric especially. I might find a someone around here who needs it, especially if they mend their own clothes. That’s a later this week sort of thing.

Today, I’m getting rid of my makeup and hair products and old medications, minus what I will need to get ready for The Last Day. And before “but you can OD on your old medications”, I have already tried that ages ago. It was bad and I ended up getting sensitized to the medications instead of dying. It’s really a terrible and ineffective way to go, and I took A LOT to try to get there. Not something I would recommend.

My husband snapped at me earlier after he misplaced an important letter, which he blames me for on a regular basis. I found it in a stack which he alone touches. I place all of his mail on his chair so he can see it as he’s ready to sit down. It took the wind out of his sails, to say the least, but I wonder what he’s going to do once I’m gone? He misses everything that’s not sitting right in front of his eyes, for example all of his favorite foods must be in front in the refrigerator, otherwise we are out of that food, or I’m hiding it from him. I do hope he finds a better woman once I’m gone.

I have been experiencing the cardiac symptoms from stopping my medications, and I’m a bit more tired than usual, so I apologize to those of you who have seen me be a little bit more perky. If I’m lucky, I can skip the whole thing with my heart just giving out. The tiredness is really a *****, though. My thoughts are a bit foggy as my body tries to make the hormones to bring me back to baseline.

As for the rest of you- how has your research been going? I honestly hope that you have given serious thought about a well-planned exit. You do deserve a peaceful end, but only you can guarantee that it will happen. You’re more than just a hastily tied shoelace or sharp instrument shoved haphazardly into your skin. You deserve to be comfortable. The weather is warming up in the Northern Hemisphere, so for those of you seriously considering this, why not take a day this week and look for a nice place outside? Maybe somewhere off a trail with a great overlook or by a little pond? If I may make one tiny request and not look for a spot near where children are going to be. They’ll have all the time in the world to find out how rough the world is.

I will be here off and on this week. My date is set for either Monday or Wednesday next week as I couldn’t purchase a major piece of equipment before my date got derailed.