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Going Nowhere

by eternaldarkness

What have you accomplished in your life?

A huge part of my depression is my lack of accomplishment. It makes me super depressed watching other people do something with their lives. Not just celebrities, but even silly YouTubers. They’ve all managed to make something of themselves, even if it’s for being popular for no reason.

No, I don’t care to be popular, that was just an example.

And before you can say “Then just go do something,” I have been battling a ton of health problems for the past 15 years, so I can’t just go and do [insert whatever activity]. It’s stopped me from doing everything. I used to be so active, did so much, but now…now what am I? What have I done? For the last 15 years, nothing. Nothing except be in pain and struggle. Struggle, struggle, struggle.

No, I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but what else can you do? We *do* compare ourselves to others, that is why many of us feel the way we do.

It hurts to see everyone so happy and healthy and carefree and doing whatever they want. It makes me cry and die a little more each day.

I just feel so shitty, like why do I have to be sick? Why can’t I be healthy like everyone else? Why does my life have to be so broken, so ruined and so alone?

Anyway, just a sad little rant, from a sad little nobody.
-EternalDarkness

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9 comments

SleeplessMind 6/18/2018 - 11:00 pm

Hey Eternal Darkness,
I can relate to You. with my big bowl of mental health issues I also got served an entree of physical issues to round sh!t out.. As a former christian, My best guess is God is a vindictive, bratty, spoiled, 8yr old who didnt get the pony they wanted so we must all suffer until this is vindicated.. May be far-fetched, but only reasonable explanation for our situations.
I’d send a hug, but I know you aren’t the hug type, so in lieu, I send Bailey’s Liqueur with a side of hot cocoa. May be more your style.

eternaldarkness 6/18/2018 - 11:27 pm

Hot Cocoa with mini marshmallows please
And some mochi ice cream pieces, nom nom

SleeplessMind 6/20/2018 - 1:46 am

I’m on it! Maybe toss some shaved chocolate on top for good measure. 😉
yeah its definitely a brutal planet.

Oh, Btw, COD:S satan’s been vacationing in this shitshow for decades. Want in on the hot cocoa?
I think Darkness, yourself and I could run a decent Misery Cafe. Lol

eternaldarkness 6/18/2018 - 11:27 pm

It’s a f*ing cruel and unfair world, and I feel like I got shafted

AgentQ 6/19/2018 - 12:03 am

It’s just random. There’s people who literally get the shortest imaginable route to success and those who despite all their efforts are impossibly deep in a maze.

I think the best thing is not to give other humans the power to determine your value. There’s always some skill, knowledge to develop. Something you can expand upon to have that sense of growth and accomplishment.

You may say it pails in comparison to others, but we all get our own maze in life. just a random roll of the dice. no one is better or worse, some folks get lucky/unlucky. it doesnt speak to your value as an individual.

AgentQ 6/19/2018 - 12:09 am

oh and for me it would be simply overcoming my own weakness (an ongoing prosses)

From an outside perspective it may seem like ive done nothing, for me i know the struggles ive overcome within myself to be the man i am and the man im becomming.

I could care less what others think of me. My accomplishments are me own. i know them and i need to recognition or validation

AgentQ 6/19/2018 - 12:09 am

need no*

Cause of Death: Suicide 6/19/2018 - 6:14 pm

I have accomplished being a stoner

Anyway you can’t speak so soon everyone else isn’t happy some are sick as f*ck you know
Misery loves its company is what they say
I see more sick than happy
I get to take my chance to be just like them 😀
They won’t let me be a stoner anymore

Just another reason the devil will come back to earth before God

dancingwithdeath 6/21/2018 - 1:39 am

I’ve achieved nothing in life, only mistakes after mistakes, regrets after regrets. I dk how to rebuild my life

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