Had to let off steam

This is my second post today, forgive me for spamming here..

I just had to rant a bit. I feel so closed in with my own fears and struggles. I feel like there is no real physical person I can talk to. My close friends are just letting me down again and again.

I feel like they can’t understand or comprehend how hard it is to go through what I am going through.  I just want to talk to someone who would understand. I barely can find a person like this anywhere.

I’m really sad and I’m struggling to go through each day. I know I won’t quit , but it is such a burden that blocks me from enjoying life. I wish I would have found a person who would understand me. How can I even open conversation about subjects like this with out scaring the other person? How can I share what I am going through where there is major difference between my life and theirs ?

I always felt like an outsider, and not because of my social skills, they were and are just fine. I felt so because of my life and family. There always have been really bad parent figures to learn from, and there wasn’t a stable time.

I feel I’m alone in this world since I was born. I feel my only way to overcome this is to progress further in life. But I really want to find someone to progress with. Does it means my current friends aren’t a friendship material? Does it means I should disconnect from them?

I’m really wondering into thoughts here, but I’m not taking a step.

I’m not even trying to……..

I hope I get through this, I know I will get through this.

Just wanted to rant to some…. to someone or something. Even if none read this.

I’m having hard times, and it is heartbreaking for me that I have none to tell about it. I’m struggling with so much.

Your friend in arms, Jac.