I wanted to share with you that I’m not doing well

I wanted to tell you that I’m broken inside.  I wanted to cry but I didn’t  succeed to.  I should’ve shown you that I have feelings too.  Explaining my life to you or anyone else was too hard for me to do.

I haven’t tried to be a stranger, I just didn’t want to acknowledge I’m a victim.

I always took a step back from you or others, because that is my way to dodge the hits.  I wish you could’ve seen it through my shades. I hope I’ll find someone like you along my ways.

I’m alone, but I’m not cracking up anymore.

I’m sad, but this time I’m walking with a smile and straight shoulders.

I envy other’s life, but I’m no longer going for the easy way.  This time I’m working toward that place.

I’m having bad days for too many years, but I wanted to tell you that I’m not afraid of the hits. I’m going to make it to the end, with successful life among my thousands of “fails”.  I will not quit nor stop, I’m here to stay.

I wanted to tell you I love you, but you didn’t want to know.

You will never be there again, I know, but so do I.

Jac.