I am laying here with the poison, I am scared too but I know that I will never get enjoyment out of another day. My head’s function for emotion has decreased. I am debating taking the DNP as I type, by the time I hit the publish tab, my drink will be mixed and drunk. I have drunk some but I may need to mox some more.
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I can’t really think of a good way to ask this tactfully, so I’m just going to come out and ask; though, I do want you to know beforehand that my question is coming from a place of good intent.
That being said… What is it, specifically, which you feel is missing from your life that would ultimately afford you happiness? I sincerely would like to know, because you’ve expressed how you’re feeling openly; however, I’m not sure if I’ve seen where you’ve articulated the source of it all.
Also…
How about a riddle? What does depression and a mixed drink have in common? Both are cold, hard to swallow, fog your mind, and in the end… both are left empty hoping to be filled back up.
Trust me. That alcohol is detriment disguised as comfort. I know that all too well. I’ve got the criminal record to prove it. Right now the best thing to do would be to remain objective; imo.
I’m a pretty young thing that stop breathing after birth, 3 head injuries, had eye drop in my drink, psychotic medications in the past which I believe nade things worse, fibromyalgia, arthritis, fractured vertebrae, been emotionally abused to say the least. Just hoping that I clunk out anytime now, wish that I had a cigarette and some alcohol too.
Again… What is it, specifically, which you feel is missing from your life that would ultimately afford you happiness?
As unfortunate as all of those things which you’ve listed may seem, none of those things answered my question to you. Those may be sources of unhappiness, but they do not tell me what it is, again specifically, what you feel/think will bring you happiness.
That single answer is essential to your well being, because how can your find this thing that you’re looking for to bring you happiness and turn your life around when you don’t even know what ‘it’ is that you’re even looking for in the first place? That’s irrational and illogical thought. Look inside yourself, and dig deep, to figure out what it is you need to be happy.
can i ask you not to ? 🙁
It’s too late, I’ve took an even larger dose with alcohol. Death with Dignity.
So this is your goodbye. I hope your pain goes away.
Bye Ree.
If you survive, please let me know.
I think I’ll be following you, either tomorrow or Tuesday.
Death with dignity is Ethical propaganda. That is because Morally dignity does not exist in any death. That is because dying is a permanent state of existence for each and every one of us, so there’s nothing undignified about death and dying to begin with.
So… Logically you may have allowed your Ethics to falsely justify your actions; however, your heart, gut, and intuition are governed by Morals; therefore, fundamentally you know the truth, and cost, of your actions.
Don’t pay that cost. So long as you are conscious it’s not too late. The decision is ultimately yours though.
could you try a glass of water & lots of salt…
two fingers to the back of the throat & throw everything out
please 🙁
it will at least reduce the dose a bit 🙁
@wickedapparition
I think some people’s pain have been too much for too long and have thought about it for a long time. Obviously if someone has stopped themselves a few times from suicide and months later they are still in that mentality, they are going through a lot of pain.
I don’t think people like Ree and I want to die, we just want the pain to stop, if we could see any other way we would take that way.
I been fighting for my life for months now and my situation only seems to be getting worse.
I’m paralyzed from the fear and depression caused by my situation, and I don’t see a way out.
I only see one way.
And believe me if I felt there was a nother way I would not hesitate.
I wish no one would feel the need to commit suicide, suicide is a horrible thing, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to go through with it. I’m not defending suicide, but Im being pushed to have to be contemplating it all day, I can’t go on like this.
I hope your pain goes away quick @ree1222 weather you live or die.
Thinking of you, Ree.
@definitelyworried
I don’t want to lead you to believe that I, personally, have always had the self-assured/relyant, matter of fact, seemingly simplistically liniar viewpoint that I may come off as having, as that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I, myself, have actively attempted Suicide twice (a story which I’ve shared HERE on this site previously. I have also been an employee within the Healthcare & Rehabilitation Industries, so I have also been given more first hand looks into depression than I would ever have liked to witness. I fully realize and understand that each and every individual is unique in thought, feeling, and circomstance. That being said though… there are universal truths and consistencies to be found nonetheless. These are the things that I’ve made mention too in my responses to individuals statements.
I don’t want you to feel as though anything I’ve just said means that I’m being dismissive to the things that you’ve expressed to me. Yes, I fully acknowledge that multiple situations, over time, can build up leading to a depressive or suicidal state. Absolutely so; however, that does not change the fact that there is a core aspect of what it is the individual feels they’re not getting, or are getting too much of, that needs to be identified in order to understand what it is they need to focus on to find happiness in their lives. That was the reason for posing my question to @ree1222 (one that they’ve yet to address; mind you).
Anyway… I hope this helps clarify the thought and emotional process behind my actions, words, and intentions. Thank you for taking the time to share your perspective and understanding with me; sincerely.
Remain Blessed, -Kev.
@wickedapparition
I think you are right, I was hoping Ree would want the desire to keep living.
I was always happy to hear from her.
I think she knew what kind of pain I been going through, her and I could relate a lot cause we could feel each others pain.
I was telling her, that her method was painful, but she seems like she still went for it.
It’s a scary thing, I’m thinking of a different method, I don’t know if I will have what it takes to finish it.
Thanks.
I don’t know @ree1222 , or anyone for that matter, as I’m new to the site. Nonetheless I genuinely hope that everyone can overcome all that life tries to throw at them, as everyone, to me, has within them the ability to add their amazing human uniqueness to this world.
Each and every person influences another in one way or another. It takes humanity to create humanity. That’s why Suicide is truly terrifying. It’s a vicious cycle because people feel a disconnect from humanity, so they in turn disconnect from humanity. By ending our lives, we perpetuate that cycle.
Think of it this way. If you end your life, and you were destined to prevent another from ending theirs… You will not be around to do that. Everything has a ripple effect, but it up to us to determine if that ripple is pushed towards being positive or negative.
All lives matter. I think you matter, and I don’t know you. Not because we share a common struggle; however, because I can easily see the passion you possess that lives through your writing. I can easily imagine the potential for change that you’d be able to offer the world.
So… I too hope that RAE1222 lives to fight another day. Tomorrow could very well be the first day of the best rest of their lives.
As always… Remain Blessed. -Kev
really hoping you’re still here
& okay
<3