I was probably talking to someone else from Bulgaria.. I know one person on here I think it is lostallhope from Bulgaria. I talked to her about 1 year back… she was as suicidal as myself and I really felt she was going to commit she said she had heroin to overdose on and I told
her that is not a pretty way to go at all. I haven’t seen her in a long time…. I think she committed. She talked on how hard it was. It was just her and her mother in Bulgaria and she only stayed alive because of her mother but that she couldn’t hold on anymore… I really felt like I understood her position a lot me and her were almost identical….. she was very humorous but serious on her suicide. Every day she would come on here rummaging her mind for another way out. I wouldn’t doubt that she ended her life, but I do miss her in these forums..
Death is AMAZING but dark *-*
I can’t even wait
I get excited here thinking bout how I’m about to kill myself in a short time
With every day i know I am getting closer
My ten year goal and I am almost there
Nothing in my way now. YAY!
Before the only thing that held me back was my instinct.
I have surpassed that with aging the last two years and being held in captivity makes me realize how desperate my cause really was – how I could have fought the instinct before they took me away.
But now I am stronger and more wise I knew then when I decided on suicide ten years back that things would only get worse and that was proven..
I know now that things can never get better from the damage inflicted
But that is good because it aids me in completing as soon as possible
If it did anything for me it helped me be less afraid to go for it and take the leap into the afterlife
It made me more sure that there was nothing here I would miss and that there was nothing to continue living for
It made me more sure that I hated being alive and that there was nothing good in store for my future and death is the best thing
It made me more aware of all the faults in mankind and if you can’t fix it, leave it
It made suicide less of a far off fantasy and more of an attainable thing!
Thank You 2016-2018
Love is the fun cloud we stare at in the backyard. We like to look up at the cloud from the ground and think it would be fun to fly through. Then we get a vessel to fly us through the cloud and realize the cloud itself is hollow and not really as beautiful and fulfilling as it seemed on the ground. Then, standing in the vessel still, you look down at yourself …and realize it’s cost you an arm and a leg of yourself to even be inside the vessel to find out about this mistaken cloud. So now, limbless, we hobble toward either the lie cloud presented or the vessel door to exit. The vessel door at least gets us back to the ground.
I can honestly say I’ve never meditated much on how meaningless life truly is until this year ..
You were just alive and that was it, you entertained yourself, you took care of yourself, you did what was required.
Now it seems gayly meaningless… almost disturbing ..
15 comments
Armies of gerbils conquer all.
Love, depending on definition and context will conquer all, but outside of these parameters my money is on the gerbils.
I don’t know if love is real. . .
Do you live in Bulgaria?
No. . Why?
In my mind there was this info that you wrote this some time ago
I was probably talking to someone else from Bulgaria.. I know one person on here I think it is lostallhope from Bulgaria. I talked to her about 1 year back… she was as suicidal as myself and I really felt she was going to commit she said she had heroin to overdose on and I told
her that is not a pretty way to go at all. I haven’t seen her in a long time…. I think she committed. She talked on how hard it was. It was just her and her mother in Bulgaria and she only stayed alive because of her mother but that she couldn’t hold on anymore… I really felt like I understood her position a lot me and her were almost identical….. she was very humorous but serious on her suicide. Every day she would come on here rummaging her mind for another way out. I wouldn’t doubt that she ended her life, but I do miss her in these forums..
Love is toxic. You get so drunk on it that you break yourself for just a bit of affection.
Death isn’t as romantic as it seems though.
Death is AMAZING but dark *-*
I can’t even wait
I get excited here thinking bout how I’m about to kill myself in a short time
With every day i know I am getting closer
My ten year goal and I am almost there
Nothing in my way now. YAY!
Before the only thing that held me back was my instinct.
I have surpassed that with aging the last two years and being held in captivity makes me realize how desperate my cause really was – how I could have fought the instinct before they took me away.
But now I am stronger and more wise I knew then when I decided on suicide ten years back that things would only get worse and that was proven..
I know now that things can never get better from the damage inflicted
But that is good because it aids me in completing as soon as possible
If it did anything for me it helped me be less afraid to go for it and take the leap into the afterlife
It made me more sure that there was nothing here I would miss and that there was nothing to continue living for
It made me more sure that I hated being alive and that there was nothing good in store for my future and death is the best thing
It made me more aware of all the faults in mankind and if you can’t fix it, leave it
It made suicide less of a far off fantasy and more of an attainable thing!
Thank You 2016-2018
I’m pro-suicide by the way with due purpose
I’m of a similar opinion with you actually
I love your emoji by the way 🙂
That is why I left such a colorful response —
I was trying to be creative with death making it sparkly and beautiful
Love is the fun cloud we stare at in the backyard. We like to look up at the cloud from the ground and think it would be fun to fly through. Then we get a vessel to fly us through the cloud and realize the cloud itself is hollow and not really as beautiful and fulfilling as it seemed on the ground. Then, standing in the vessel still, you look down at yourself …and realize it’s cost you an arm and a leg of yourself to even be inside the vessel to find out about this mistaken cloud. So now, limbless, we hobble toward either the lie cloud presented or the vessel door to exit. The vessel door at least gets us back to the ground.
I can honestly say I’ve never meditated much on how meaningless life truly is until this year ..
You were just alive and that was it, you entertained yourself, you took care of yourself, you did what was required.
Now it seems gayly meaningless… almost disturbing ..
death is the most certain, uncertain thing.
Death