Spinning Records and Staying Awake

i feel like I’m moving in a cycle. Most of the time I can’t feel anything; if I can feel my emotions at all it’s like listening to a concert through the brick wall outside; superficial and barebones, with no distinction or detail. Just noise in different pitches. That’s how I spend most of my time in this cycle, but for a seemingly random amount of time I do get to feel genuine emotion. It’s just sadness and emptiness but that’s what I’ve got left I guess. At least right now.