Due to the overwhelming positive feedback from the last poem, here’s another for you.
I know that you hate me/ I know that I’m crazy/ But I can no longer see the person you wanted me to be/ For Fathers day/ I think I’ll just go away/ Get rid of your pain/ After all I feel like cellophane/ And I no longer have something to gain/ I’ll just walk to the freeway/ I’ll leave for good today/ I’ll walk up to the the road and lay/ Waiting for my life to end/ No longer needing to send/ A text or try to call/ Because now my soul will no longer fall/ Deeper into my sadness and despair/ Besides, it’s not like you’ll care/ I fact, I’m just your teddy bear/ Your teddy that you yell and complain at/ The one you always call fat/ So Dad, just be happy for once/ Because I went and stole your guns/ All of them from the pistol to the shotgun/ This will be like removing a ton/ A ton of waste, pain and a broken mind/ I know you regret having to sign/ The birth certificate and claim me/ Especially now that I can’t see/ Now that I can’t see any light/ Now that I can’t see any way to fight/ Now that I can’t see how I’ll live through the night.
I know I’m a letdown and little shit/ So you all can go and stop saying it/ Because my humanity is going away bit by bit/ Because the thing that makes it stay is this slit/ This slit on my wrist/ It’s hidden so you won’t get pissed/ I suffer tonight because there is no way to see/ I cannot see through the dark thoughts inside of me/ But do you care? No just give more therapy/ Even though you know it’s not helping me survive/ In fact it enforces my thoughts to want to die/ So now I cry because I learned the truth/ I feel worse than when I chipped my tooth/ But now it’s inside/ So now I just abide/ My death and set my pain to the side/ If I could I’d/ End it all tonight with my week old noose/ hang my neck from the ceiling like a goose/ A goose on display in a grocery store/ Rotting and given to the poor/ And then just ruin another family/ Now that I know that I will never be/ The success you saw in me.
3 comments
Well my sentiments almost exactly. I could never have put it so aptly. I’ve tried to use poetry to say that it told it, but it just comes out like Dr. Suess wrote it. Lol
Went for a walk in the park yesterday and the wilderness and nature did heal me a slight bit, but all thoughts were still morbid and apparently caused some concerns for my well being. My defense was and still is today to hide it and make light of everything as best I can even though the me in my head is punching bloody fists into a brick wall.
I say this just to explain that I am in no way making fun of your awesome talent, it’s just how I’m dealing with my morning. Please keep writing, you’re good.
I never got the sense of you making fun of me, in fact the opposite. I’m glad I could help you
not to reinforce bad behavior…..but i’d kiss that scar if you showed me.