I am a 34yo failure at life. My family all lives back east and I live out in California so I have no family around. I can go over 10 days without anyone even attempting to contact me, I have gone longer at times as well. I was just moved from my job that I have had for the past 3 years to a new position that after I have been at for about a month I tried to speak with my boss about returning to my old position and he said no. Now I am stuck in a shitty job, that I absolutely hate and am just waiting to get fired because I am unable to retrieve the information that my boss wants, but at the same time the people I am talking to do not have to give me any of that information so they never give me anything. Chalk up another fail on my end. I was hoping for along time that I could wait until my mother passed away so that I would at least not be putting her thru any pain but I am unable to wait that much longer. I joined a dating site to see if maybe I could find someone that might actually give a damn about me but that did not work either. Thanks Match.com, the ability to email someone, see that she received the mail and read it, and then being able to see that she looked at my profile and still decided to not respond to the message or even say hi to me. That really make people feel wanted. I just do not want to be the one to bring down this family so I am going to end it once my rifle is up and working again. I have the perfect spot picked out. I can not take this feeling of utter failure that I have anymore. I just want it all to end. I fear that my future will be nothing but more pain and heartbreak so I am choosing to go out on my own terms and not on someone else. I am too invisible to help.
“When all usefulness is over, when one is assured of an unavoidable and imminent death, it is the simplest of human rights to choose a quick and easy death in place of a slow and horrible one.”
– Charlotte Perkins Gilman
1 comment
Aw I love that. I’d kill to have no one contact me in 10 days.. make it an eternity and no rush out my front door and no one in the house with me and you got a deal..