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Barks

by mranony

I was on the rooftop. Just smoking my third cigarette.
There was a cat. It jumped on the dogs.
They bark nonstop.

I wasn’t planning on doing anything.
But my minded was clouded with nicotine.
And their barks grew tireless.
I wasn’t really planning but the thought grew louder than the barks.

I was on the edge before I knew it.
My mind was hazy.
I didn’t plan for this.
It just what it is.

The residents started coming out of their flats.
I wasn’t planning on disturbing them.
But that just what happened.
And I have to go down before they can alert the police.

I apologized and went back to my dorm.
I wasn’t planning on crying.
But it just what happened.

I did an alternative but the blade was too dull.
But I still did it without any hesitation.
There was no blood.
Just nicotine.

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11 comments

freeroma 7/30/2018 - 2:24 pm

Eh, sht happens sometimes.

Hey.

mranony 7/30/2018 - 9:42 pm

I know right.

Hey. How’s life

freeroma 7/31/2018 - 1:08 am

Same old, trying to figure what the heck I’m doing.

.. I know this might be a dumb question. But overall, how have you been? I know you come here sporadically.. I kinda hope it means you don’t need this place when you aren’t here, yknow? That sht isn’t a constant.

mranony 7/31/2018 - 4:17 am

@freeroma What have you been doing?

I’m generally trying to catch up. I do relapse from time to time. But I guess, I want to be a better person than what I was or am now.

(But to be honest, I’m kind of contemplating whether to stop after college. I have a good plan after college but I guess sometimes I wonder.)

freeroma 7/31/2018 - 1:59 pm

Today I finished getting things switched out after my name change.
Mostly I’ve been trying to get through the days.. it’s hard to look for the future.
And I suppose a bit of that catching up.. still working on getting a driver’s licence.

That sounds like a good goal, even if it’ll never stop.. always an Onward.

If it’s a good plan, then I hope you can keep faith in it. I can understand second guessing that kind of thing.

mranony 8/8/2018 - 12:08 pm

@freeroma
Change name? Here or in real life?
How’s the driving going on? Hope you get it. It’s a convenient thing~

freeroma 8/8/2018 - 1:04 pm

Real life.. last thing to get updated was my passport, although I apparently have another matter to take care of before leaving that name behind.. sigh.
It’s ok. Im starting to become a pest tho to get people to help with backing up.

mranony 8/8/2018 - 1:35 pm

@freeroma
Government stuff high security shit stuff they probably hiding some alien level shits

Backing up is pretty hard as long as you dont get in accident
Just take time on your ride

Cause of Death: Suicide 7/30/2018 - 9:08 pm

Feels like being me the only way to not get the cops following me is to either not exist or be invisible..

Usually I practice the “do nothing, say nothing, be nothing” advice
I live in hiding like in Anne Frank, trying not to be caught by nazis

mranony 7/30/2018 - 9:43 pm

Sameee. We are on the run while walking.

mranony 8/8/2018 - 1:04 pm

@freeroma

I really appreciate the time you’ve been giving me and the others.
I hope we can pay you back for the support. Really. Thank you very much. 😀

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