check up

im not suicidal atleast i dont think i am anymore….?
idk
but every now and then i come back here to look into my old thoughts
could be just to feel what i did at that moment or to wonder what wouldve happened if i had stayed in that place or left it like i planned i would.
unfortunately i have had thoughts creep back but it hasnt gone to the extreme it was before. i hope i never go back there. wouldnt wish it on anyone either. not sure why im writing this so thats all.