So last night, i had enough and needed relief. I got a razor and started cutting my arm and my leg. It honestly helped. Its like my brain forgot about everything and focused solely on the cuts on my body. It was a very relieving feeling. This was the first time i did this. When i woke up today, i regreted what had happened. I been having an urge all day to do it again. I really badly want to hurt myself again and that scares me. I cannot stop thinking about it. All i wanna do is cry. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel so stupid and embarrassed for posting this.
4 comments
Hey. You don’t have to feel embarrassed and stupid for posting your troubles okay. You mentioned that you were scared of the idea of you wanting to hurt yourself so the only thing I can possible suggest is to find another way to let out the pain/frustration. I personally have little experience in venting but perhaps do whatever it is you find enjoyable no matter how silly you think it is. Exercising and music are the common ones but others include vent art, screaming in somewhere secluded, crying or just ranting it out to someone. I love you HAHAHAHA i just felt the need to say it. Sorry if anything i mentioned hurt you somehow.
“I cannot stop thinking about it” I guess you have to accept that you did it and let it sink in? So what if you had hurt yourself. It’s just a moment in your life okay? Don’t let it define you or describe you. I didnt thought i would be hiding in toilets but hey, i am now.
Just cry, there is no reason not to? It’s not a sign of weakness. But if you don’t like crying then goodluck okay, you can do it!
It’s okay not to know what to do, I don’t too. Take some time to think i guess?
I know it’s a no brainer, and I know it’s not easy, but it’s best if you try and stop as early as you can. It’s addictive, or at the very least it can be. Find something in your life that helps you relieve tension without self destructing. All I ever post about is music so I’m sure you can guess what I used to help me break out of the cycle, but everyone is different. I have a medical marijuana card as well, which did help (I admit that this is far from the best coping advice, but I do think it’s better than cutting) as well, but if it’s not legal in your area I wouldn’t risk it. Talk to friends and family if you can, and try to open up to them about it. It’s ok if it takes you a while, but when I had friends who knew I cut I had a lot more willpower to resist the urge. Most importantly, talk to your therapist about this. If this is your first time then you have time to avoid tattooing your aupper arm with hundreds of scars, like I did. And I’m actually not too bad off, because I at least designed mine to be concealable. There are a lot of bad ways this could go, so put the brakes on it while the wound is still fresh.
And don’t feel embarasssd. This is pretty much what we’re all here for.
Yeah I feel you like right after you’re like “wait wtf did I just do” but it really does make it go away for a bit. If you can just cry and let it out that way, however personally after a while I actually could not cry anymore so be aware of that. idk if its just me. Crying seems to give similar release tho
No, please don’t. A simple impulse beings to grow into a habit. There is a really high possibility that cutting will leave scars, and they make you feel really insecure even in times of happiness. If the urge is so much, I recommend choking or slapping yourself.