I crave exit from this world. Time and time again, I have fucked up in huge ways, and I need to pull the plug.
After a drug induced bout of psychosis years ago, I had to leave school.
My bipolar disorder has hospitalized me numerous times.
My drug use has alienated most of my family and friends. In total, maybe two people in the world love me.
My poor decisions have left me with no job, little hope of getting a new one, no insurance, limited funds, and serious health problems that will seriously fuck me up and make me even more miserable if left untreated.
I would get a gun, but my hospitalizations keep me from getting one. I’ve considered jumping, but with the height of the bridges around here, there’s a decent chance I could survive and end up more fucked than I am now. I’ve also considered jumping under or walking into a train- one of my best friends in high school walked into one. I’m weary of this hell I’ve made for myself, and I crave exit.
5 comments
I totally understand where you’re coming from
A lot of different ways to go about it
I know the frustration you can’t get a gun because you’ve been hospitalized which indeed is the best way to end your life……
I know, that I wish every day I was able to make that purchase but those people are against such an action……
A lot of ways around it though
Tough to live in a life you never wanted
Yeah, you’re speaking my reality too. I can’t wait to be gone.
Same here
Oh… 🙁 (hugs)
It seems like your problems are tempting you to do really impulsive actions that seem like a good decision but turns out to be bad and it’s hard being sober…
Is there really not a way to fix your health and get a new job…?
At least you have two people who love you though. :O Maybe they can help somehow?
Anyways, your story reminds me of Chloe from Life is Strange a lot. ._.