He is the only one who can give me the strength to lift me out of this rut… I’m trying my best to make him understand how dire this is. It can only be him. My friends, family, they won’t be able to pull me out. I need him here with me. He doesn’t understand. I’m willing to risk everything to have him with me again, because he’s been the shining light in my life that has kept me going. I’m so exhausted, so beat up. I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. The only reason why I haven’t given up yet is because he has yet to fully reject me, because I still have hope that he’ll reconsider. I really really do want to get out, I want to get better, but I won’t be able to take the first step if he won’t help me up in the first place. I’m too weak to start this on my own. I’m trying my best to hold onto the little hope I have until he gets back to me and if he won’t, then he’s basically left me to die…