How does it feel to be successful? I mean, even the smallest things like having friends around you, being able to remember things, getting even the smallest jobs ‘done’ in your everyday routine, having a social life, passing a day without crying, being able to smile, sleeping in the night wanting to wake up the next morning, having someone that loves you. It must be a great feeling.
I just wish I have any of these. Or just someone, just SOMEONE around me to escape the suicidal thoughts. I have been inside my apartment for the past one week, no human interaction, in absolute silence. No clock ticking, no noise from the outside world, all I could hear is my sound of my breath, lying lifeless and thoughtless. I am convinced my life will never improve no matter how hard I try. I have a strong feeling my end is so close.