How does it feel to be successful? I mean, even the smallest things like having friends around you, being able to remember things, getting even the smallest jobs ‘done’ in your everyday routine, having a social life, passing a day without crying, being able to smile, sleeping in the night wanting to wake up the next morning, having someone that loves you. It must be a great feeling.
I just wish I have any of these. Or just someone, just SOMEONE around me to escape the suicidal thoughts. I have been inside my apartment for the past one week, no human interaction, in absolute silence. No clock ticking, no noise from the outside world, all I could hear is my sound of my breath, lying lifeless and thoughtless. I am convinced my life will never improve no matter how hard I try. I have a strong feeling my end is so close.
5 comments
I am terribly sorry to learn about your situation. How does it feel to be successful? I’ve had some success in my life in the last years but it’s nothing compared to having a pure childhood, being full of life.
Yes, life is very hard. But you can still improve yourself. Only the fact that you could live in these conditions- being utterly alone, shows that you are worthy. I know that you really want to die because you see no point in life, but the question is: what can death offer you?
I don’t have a real social life although I had a few friends. Some left to live their lives, others disappointed me. But I continue to live my life even if I am alone at the moment.
What you desperately need is a meaning in your life, a certain knowledge that makes you know that life is worth living no matter how dreadful.
Thanks so much for your comment. You are 100% correct. There’s no meaning for me to live, I fail in every thing I do, not necessarily because of my inability. How can someone possibly fail in everything?
I’m glad you have memories to cherish though things may not be the same now.
Thanks for being so kind.
Oh, this sounds like me so much. I have to say though, having someone that loves you feels like the least small success I can think of 😮
having someone that loves you is a BIG success, trust me nothing compares to it.
That’s what I was trying to say, but I guess I failed miserably o.o