I’m posting this because I’m stuck in my own head. I totally screwed up my life when I went off my meds, though it did save my life because I was really really really sick with bad side effects. During the comedown I didn’t taper…like they say….and am surprised I’m here today. Even fought in a psych ward (just got the bill I keep ignoring again today…yay!) to not be on meds now I just have more labels shoved on my head. But I fought to keep off meds….and here I am. Surprised.
I’m numb. I woke up a few weeks ago knowing it was now ok to die. I don’t know what to do with that. I’m no longer at war with myself, just so numb. I burned so many bridges. I am living for my son but not even doing a good job at that.
11 comments
Medication is the worst thing I’ve ever done. I get it. Completely numb if not in unbearable pain. I know how it is, if there was any doubt before, it is completely ok to die after that. I’m the same.
Which meds did they force you on 😀
I was on a lot of anti depressant drug trials on and off for many years. Nothing worked…and it all ended up making me sick. ..on kpin too…then diagnosed with fibro…mistakenly took cymbalta without research…got worse and worse and worse…some med food was added…stabilizers. I was down a ****** rabbit hole. I don’t feel forced, more of a gradual brainwashing, and then it was so easy to add more and more and more. I stopped but now?
Ah. Yeah I was perfect beautiful and happy then I was forced on Zoloft xanax seroquel haldol invega ability Ativan hydroxyzine geodon
now I am numb numb empty numb
Dead inside
And I can barely move
It’s like every bone in my body has arthritis
I gained 50 pounds in three months on seroquel/invega month doses
I just took it cause they either forced the needle into my body or they told me to after calling me names
Not once did I ever feel it would help me or that I needed it
Goes to show it just made everything a million times worse
I’m sorry to hear that. I thought I was actually trying to help myself in the beginning. I look back now and it makes sense, the very first trial was the start of my long painful journey. I’m sure it’s scary being injected. I had to fight at the hospital for no drugs, and what’s worse? The psych doctor upon seeing me asked me this “What drugs do you want” and later said “How will anyone know you’re getting better if you don’t take prescription drugs” it was awful. I can’t imagine being forced by a needle. I managed to escape that fate.
I mean it hurts but I always looked at it like, unnecessary unbearable pain or not I would end up dead anyway.
“What pill do you want?” LMAO. Yeah around the third time there I tried to help em out. How bout this junk that does nothing but make me COMPLETELY numb, why don’t you give me some Vicodin, maybe some Novacane, how about some Valium. Then I’ll be really junked up, how you want me.
Of course I didn’t know what those drugs were. I assume really strong pain killers. I sat 4 weeks my mouth sewn shut and slid that note under the door.
As for “how will anyone know you are getting better if you don’t take prescription pain meds..” honest to god they don’t give a shit about you they are brainwashed into saying shit like that for the love of money
I should add during come down I lost everything. No idea how to rebuild.
Thank you for reminding all of us of the danger of legalized doctor prescribed peer reviewed federal, state and insurance covered psychotropic drugs.
For those whose life has not yet been ruined by legalized doctor prescribed peer reviewed federal, state and insurance covered psychotropic drugs I suggest one try, under the guidance of a therapist and not psychologist, natural means instead. I have practiced what I am preaching for two years now and am pleased over all. Sure I still have some shit hours but not shit days, weeks, months anymore.
Meds were a dangerous road for me, a gradual burn and I suggest never ever taking them. Natural means works, the drugs do not. I was all natural prior to this hellish nightmare and now, well, my life is altered in ways I never expected. I’m still in shock.