Life. People always tell me that its meant to be a fun experience. Life is meant to be something where you can do the things you love, live life on the edge, make a heap of friends and fall in love. But I don’t know how. I don’t know how people enjoy things. I can’t even get out of bed because nothing motivates me anymore. I used to be the happiest person ever, now I just want to die and I make constant jokes about it but they’re not jokes. They’re a cry for help. No one gets how my mind works and its eating me alive. I see life as a pointless stream of days with no purpose whatsoever. We’re born to die. Everyday it feels like I’m drowning and no one can see it. Im always alone at school, home and in general. I see people getting in relationships and having fun and making plans with friends and stuff, but I’m left on the sideline. It sucks. Shits fucked. The worst part about it is when your ‘friends’ leave you because they’re with someone. its like you were nothing in the first place. I just can’t deal with it anymore. Im not going to kill myself, I don’t self harm, because they wont do anything for me. I just stopped feeling entirely. I don’t laugh anymore, I don’t cry, I don’t get mad. nothing seems to bother me anymore, im just so used to being a nothing that I started to feel nothing. No one probably cares about this anyway, bunch of pointless words to most people but yeah. thats my life I guess.
– Hannah.
2 comments
Hey Hannah.
I can relate to that nothingness.
As a single parent I dont fit in with my single friends who like to party or my friends with partners because they like to discuss their significant other, family vacations, and shit that is irrelevant to my life and financial abilities.
The only people who are worth emotion are my kids.
I just stare at a wall most of the time
Sometimes I read these
Other wise, I shouldn’t be alive today and my life is a waste and always will be terrible..