New thoughts, New beginnings.

Days where you feel empty come back; you did that thing again, didn’t You? You dummy, I told you not to do that again. Let me see.

I knew it was wrong but the feelings just felt worryingly satisfying.. it’s worse this time, you know That, right? You said you weren’t going to do it again, how do I know you won’t do it again?

You don’t know, that’s the thing. I don’t even know when it’ll occur again, it just does; whenever it feels like it.

You need help, okay? These things you’re doing to yourself aren’t good, and I don’t want to have to keep babysitting you. Then don’t, I’ll handle it.

You know What? You’re too much of a mess for me to handle, fix yourself, then we’ll talk.

But you thought leaving would change me, as a matter of fact, you staying by my side helped me so much you were too blind to see it. When you left I only thought more, and cut deeper.

Are you feeling better? – After a week of no communication.

You care?

Of course I do.

Why didn’t you tell me this when I was alive.

What do you mean?

My neck hurts so much, I can’t feel my hands or feet, I’ve no blood circulating, my wrists have been slashed and my throat has been cut, my spine crooked and my smile turns to dust, as my eyes bleed what I thought was my love for you.

I’m okay.