In a lot of stories there are those people that live sad lives and die sad. They are just kinda shit out of luck, always just miss opportunities to make their lives better and connect with people. Life is so up and down for everyone, but for those people the downs seem to get deeper and flatter and deeper and flatter. I am well into a deep, flat, swing. Each time there is positive momentum and a good plateau, the downs stretch out longer and longer. I know it’s all about perspective – glass half full and all that – but there is also experience. If the experience is shit, does perspective matter? Emotions aren’t logical, so the reasoning of perspective only goes so far. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am really scared that this is my life. This low place that feels both isolated and also too scary and uncomfortable for connection. I really want more. I don’t want to be so full of self loathing and social anxiety and emotional discomfort. I don’t know how I ended up here.
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4 comments
I want more too and there’s not a day I don’t try. My half full glass is so f***d that my life is slipping down more deeper and darker.
Some of your post makes sense.. it’s hard to compose myself these days from, these other things which doesn’t make sense. Anyways, cadet. Your.. content these days, for some reason doesn’t make sense, anymore. Lol.
What you were actually witnessing, something I’ve never spoke about, was myself. It has been, pure, conditioned, of, severe sinus asphyxiation, and but lately, this pure, added malediction of pure, hell. Heaven, cries, in heaven.
It’s been… they can spew pure death, inside of someone… I dispel, the insane. That insanity, dies, forever. Normalcy, and the degenerated. Give me a message.
I can’t agree more, it’s really hard to stay positive when all you experience your whole life is shit 🙁