Stop torturing me, please!
I can’t handle the dreams anymore.
Im drowning in my own head, awake and asleep now.
I know what he did, I know, I know, I know.
But, I love him. I live with him.
I caress his skin when I can’t sleep, I hold his hand when I can’t breathe, I would kiss him if he was killing me.
Oh, how I love him!
Even when we’re screaming, even when I’m pouring out rivers, even when my throat gets so tight from the pain, even when I call out his name…to come back.
It’s love, isn’t it? When you can’t breathe without them? When you can’t live without them? When you don’t WANT to live without them.
Or is the infidelity in the back of your mind killing you?
Is the unforgivable act actually forgivable?
You’ve learned to shut it out when you’re awake, but my darling, what about when you’re asleep?
Your mind is going to kill you, and you don’t even have to be awake anymore.
4 comments
Damn that hurts. Love – what a strong emotion/chemical reaction (call it whatever). Wish i was capable of it.
I never thought i was, I actually didn’t believe in it.
Until, I met him.
You never know what your mind/body is capable of until you love someone.
Until you’d do anything for that person, even if it hurts you.
It’s possible to forgive. But that doesn’t always mean you should. You’re scared to move on, to let go. The idea of life without him seems impossible, and undesirable. By all means, give him a chance or two. But you’re worth much more than that. If he proves himself to be not worth your time, trust, and love; start giving yourself a chance instead of him.
Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will hurt. Yes, it will be worth it.
Thank you for saying that most people wouldn’t agree. I see people move on so quickly from long relationships, and I guess i’m not wired that way. I get attached, I get used to living this way. Coming home to someone, not being alone all the time, sleeping next to someone.
I don’t want to give up, i love him, I’m just so scared something bad will happen again. It almost sent me over the edge last time..