So the weather has been great for over 2 months now in the UK. Its made me happier. I’m doing more with my life and enjoying it more. I’m free from depression. My mind is not clouded and my attitude optimistic. Overall I’m happy.
However, in this state of clarity and freedom, I still want to die. If I ever kill myself, it will not be when I’m depressed, fragile, weak, down and out, when my life’s falling apart. No, it will be when I’m strong, happy, joyful and have no reason in my life to kill myself. Because the problem lies within, in my head and my heart. The 2 things that defines me and who I am.
1 comment
I live in the UK too and I think that I honestly understand what you mean. I constantly hide behind a mask. But that isn’t what I see myself as. My body is pitch black with a sheet thrown over as not to scare anyone. The weather does affect mood… but only my mask.