What if I can’t?

what if everything stays the same even though I’m somewhere else? What if i can’t break this cycle? I know what I have to do, and it’s so easy, but god I’m so tired. Every night I’m so tired and sleep isn’t rest. If I bring this wherever I go I don’t know if I have it in me to kill it. I just can’t keep doing this. I say this every night but the sun comes up again. I say this now but the sun it’s up in five hours. And then I go to work and push this to the back of my head until it pushes back against me. Something has to die.