4:19 Kat

  August 12th, 2018 by LostKat

I just had a complete break down it front of my mirror at 4:19 am.

I got home drunk, as usual, and just stared at my naked body.

God, I hated it. I was so disappointed in myself.

How did I let myself get this way? So.. fat?

My body didn’t make any sense. It didn’t look like me. I was so scared.

No one will like me now, at least I had a body back then, but now… fuck.

I ruined my make up, wiped it off, took another look, and put my clothes back on. I couldn’t look anymore…

I am so ugly. That’s all I can think about anymore.

Every day, I wake up and try to stay as long as I can in bed so I don’t eat. It never works. I love food too much, what can I say?

Burgers, loaded fries, pizza. All of it. I crave it.

I’m only 145 pounds and I feel like 200. I’m losing it again.

My will.

I have to stop. Please give me the will to stop.

God, why do I always sound crazy?


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