I just had a complete break down it front of my mirror at 4:19 am.
I got home drunk, as usual, and just stared at my naked body.
God, I hated it. I was so disappointed in myself.
How did I let myself get this way? So.. fat?
My body didn’t make any sense. It didn’t look like me. I was so scared.
No one will like me now, at least I had a body back then, but now… fuck.
I ruined my make up, wiped it off, took another look, and put my clothes back on. I couldn’t look anymore…
I am so ugly. That’s all I can think about anymore.
Every day, I wake up and try to stay as long as I can in bed so I don’t eat. It never works. I love food too much, what can I say?
Burgers, loaded fries, pizza. All of it. I crave it.
I’m only 145 pounds and I feel like 200. I’m losing it again.
I have to stop. Please give me the will to stop.
God, why do I always sound crazy?