Up until recently I was 100% sure this was what I wanted but now, I just don’t know. My depression has me wondering if this is the best idea. “I’m too young for this.” “We haven’t been together long enough.” “What if we get a divorce? then all these years would be for nothing and the money spent would be a waste. Plus I don’t really believe in divorce” Unless you are being abused the yeah get a divorce. “What if our love isn’t real?” “What if i stop loving him?” The questions running around in my head. There’s so many of them. So many concerns. So many worries. And they won’t shut up. I hoping to get married Monday though but as of right now I can’t see it. We’re still waiting for the lawyer to get back to us. I have to get a cake. We have to get a license. Thankfully though as soon as we have the license we can get married. And i still have no idea if my grandfather is coming to it. I wouldn’t blame him if he said no though. I lost him for 7 years and i just got him back last summer. That’s a lot to put on a person all at once. ” Hey I just got you back do you want to give me away now?” Plus my friend is putting her stupid book thing before me. We’ve been friends forever. I put up with a lot from her. Say going behind my back and dating the guy i liked, then telling everyone NOT to tell me. How did she expect me to react? Yeah I’m pissed off. One day at a time. Just take it one day at a time and breath. I have so much stress it’s physically effecting me. It has been for a few years. Chest pains. I have trouble breathing. Headaches. although everything gives me headaches. I’m just ranting now. You guys all have bigger problems. Overall my life is better. I have a soon to be husband that tries his best. I’m working towards a home and my dream job. Yet here I am with nothing left but my memories. I’ll stop boring you.
7 comments
These doubts you have could just be cold feet, I wish you well for your big day!
Possible. I asked family and friends that are married and they said it was normal. Thank you I hope it goes well but we wont know until the lawyer gets back to us.
My brother got married last year and had the same pre marriage fears you have, here we are a year on he’s happily married and his wife is expecting, those pre marriage jitters turned out to be nothing.
Well I don’t plan to ever be expecting but I’m hopeful for the rest of it.
Your questions are the valid questions we need to ask ourselves before we tie the knot. You seem satisfied that this man is a good man who is good for you. This is good news.
Your doubts seems to be about yourself. I think of this as you being honest about being less than an ideal person, just like the rest of us. You could still have a good marriage, doubts and all.
I see you are still working on you. This is huge.
I saw in a previous post you are struggling with depression. So do I and I am happily married. Because of a close brush with diy death I am in therapy and I am on here but hey I am happily married, just not happily living.
You seem to be indicating anxiety. Some people, including me, use an L-theanine supplement and it works well for us. Hopefully it would help you to manage anxiety too.
Not expecting to be expecting has some major upsides. Children bring strong and sometimes insurmountable stress to a marriage.
Don’t take my word for it as I’ve never been to a therapist but depression, GAD, ASAD, social anxiety (I might be missing a few) PTSD and maybe schizophrenia but I only see things at night and it may just be my eyes playing tricks although all through my younger years I swear I’ve “seen” ghosts and occasionally since my depression started I swear someone calls my name but when I ask they think I’m crazy. Also its not so much the stress a child would cause, my mother wasn’t the best we’ll say and I refuse to pass that on to them. I won’t let them live the life I live. Not until I’m better.
Forgot that. I’ve been looking into natural supplements for anxiety and depression but I can’t find any that don’t mess with my melatonin or naproxen.