Drives

  August 30th, 2018 by AgentQ

Like any other animal, at bottom a human is driving forward to live and thrive another day. Tossing aside the insane stories our genius brains concoct to support us (egos), we are made to work for the next breathe whether we want it or not.

When we move toward the light we are warmed by it, enlivened and naturally prompted to continue in that direction.

When we slip into darkness, we become lost, confused and desperate.

Anxiety begets more of itself.

Success and fortune bring strength and confidence which beget more success and more fortune.

We all have a clock hanging in some grand hall of human life, each ticking away, different but the same.

Shattered dreams and forgotten hopes are narcotics for the spirit and lull us to sleep adrift an ocean of past regrets and chastisement.

Floating there staring at the stars wondering why it happened this way.

In turns desperate to swim and then complacent to peer into the massive waves crashing around us.

Flailing and relaxing alternatively in spurts like any mammal in its final moments, gasping for another breathe.

One they may not even desire. A struggle they may not want to continue.

I think i have grown up a little though. In the past my disposition was hopelessly nihilistic. Now i see more the wisdom of those who meditate. Because in the end the world is completely and utterly absurd and there is nothing any one of us can do about it except laugh, cry, breathe another breath and go to sleep when our clock runs its course.

The only other thing i can imagine for me is to look into myself and try to see a dream i can pull out. At least then this story would have some content…some theme…some purpose, if just for a moment.

At least there’d be a moment to remember about this little bag of bones and water. If i can have just one good fight for something my heart really cares for

 

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