You know,
I almost feel like having situational depression is so much easier.
With situations, as soon as the issue is resolved, your bad thoughts will go away
But what if… what if the problem is you?
I pay my car payment 2 months early
I have more then enough money left over to survive each months
I have 4k in my savings at 20, a car, zero debt, GREAT credit, a family that loves me, friends that love me, a man that cares more about me then he should, going back to school in a few days and i should be joining the army in just a bit here.
As you can see, I should be happy right? Im killing it. but instead, i feel nothing. And I’ve felt like this for a long time. I wanted to delay this for so long now to avoid the pain i would inflict on my mom but i don’t think i can anymore. My mind attacks me to much every fucking day to delay any longer
My question to you is:
What do you do when you’re on top of the world
And all you wanna do is jump?
4 comments
Just out of curiosity, is joining the army the best thing if you have depression? The suicide rate in the military is really high. This is coming from someone whose brother took his life after many tours. And I too have no debt, things are paid way in advance, money in my bank, no worries. But, I hate my life. Money was never the issue for me. It’s everything else. I have situational depression as well and am going through a tough period at the moment, so nothing I say will make things better. Just make it bearable for the moment is all I tell myself.
Originally, it was so someone would pay for my schooling but i don’t really care anymore because well, you know.
I had a lot of plans, loads, but now… i dunno. Im just tired. Its been so long
Yeah I know what you mean. there’s no “fix”. What do you mean you took memes too seriously tho lol?
Suicide memes. You see em all over the internet
They’re hilarious
So i took them a little to seriously cause i know i don’t have any fight left in me anymore