I´m ashamed to continue to post on this site when I read all these tragic stories of people being abused, raped, suffering with mental illness etc. My problems are just not even comparable to that kinda shit. My life has been the easiest shit ever sofar. Maybe beacause I lack the ambition to make it harder for myself. I never had to learn or even attend school very much to get the same grades as very ambicious but dumb people in my class. But It´s different because they are trying and I´m not. Their grades are their success that they had to work on and they are proud of it. I just dont give a single damn. Nihilistic apathetic moron thats all I am.
I´ve never experienced any trauma, I have a good relationship with my family and as much free time as I want. And still I suffer from daily depression, social anxiety and no self asteem. I just wish some better person would be born insted of me, someone that could truly take advantage of all these opportunities that I just ignore (like loving family, high IQ or relative wealthiness).
I´m currently just wasting my life. Living only for escapism. I´m addicted to weed, porn and video games. I´ve never been in a relationship. I´m just too socially awkward and I can feel girls get uncomfortable around me. I can always see the relief in their eyes when I say good bye or just stop talking to them. Also I dont really know what would I have to offer in a relationship. I´m just a very boring person in general.
I´ve promised myself to commit suicide on my 30th birthday (if my life wont change drasticaly till then which i highly doubt coz I´m scared of change) so untill then this is probably my last post here. Like I said I feel guilty posting about my little pathetic problems here. Some guy commented on my older story that he would love to be in my sittuation and I kinda felt him. It is probably not very helpful to see some pathetic dude crying over his life when your life is like 10 times worse and your problems are actually real.
Will see you guys in 11 years (I doubt anyone of you reading this will be still on this site but who knows) . Till then peace and stay strong. (I will still continue to read and reply to your stories coz it gives me realief but I will stop posting probably as I said)
9 comments
If they had your problems, they’d have to have your life. Which clearly shows that while the grass may look greener it ain’t cuz you’re here.
It’s not a matter of comparison. It’s not always a matter of circumstance.
I was like you in highschool with schooling, classwork came easy. Some people have that, some people are naturally gifted with athleticism or music..we’re all different.
Which means you’re problems aren’t fake just because you have different experiences.
No problem man. Take it easy. Feel free to do whatever you want.
i know how you feel. ive never even attempted yet here i am. i dont belong here. all of these people want to end it. all these people seem to have attempted at least once. another place i dont fit into i guess.
If I told you that I could wave a magic wand, and you would feel inspired to pursue a goal, would you? What if I told you that was difficult, time consuming, and even painful. It wouldn’t be fun, success wasn’t assured, but you would be filled with a sense that it was important and worthwhile. If I could promise you would feel a definite calling to pursue this goal, would you want me to do it?
You would, right? You aren’t looking for an easy path. You aren’t looking for pity. You are looking for something worth fighting for. Don’t feel ashamed my friend, a lack of purpose is one of the most disabling things a person can face. It’s one of worst because it can trick you into gas lightning yourself.
Your problems are not small, nor pathetic nor unworthy of being discussed, they matter just as much as everyone else even if they’re experienced horrific things that you haven’t.
It doesn’t matter if you’re right or poor everyone is deserving of being heard and respected. I experienced depression in high school and university and it wasted a couple of years of my life. I was very suicidal back then but then I finally came to terms with my existence and decided I wanted to keep going on with life and was able to complete my education.
Your feelings can have a powerful influence on your life (as my own example above shows). The more you downplay or ignore your feelings, the worse you’ll probably feel. It might help to see a psychotherapist, just to have someone listen to you who’s non-judgmental and doesn’t know you personally.
So start there by valuing yourself and your feelings and not feeling guilty because you were lucky enough to be born with intelligence and a good home. Would you prefer to have low-IQ and broke? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, so instead of feeling ashamed, feel fortunate and grateful to your parents. Then work on all the personal issues that you’re struggling with. Best of luck.
Sorry for the typos, I didn’t proofread it:
-if they’ve experienced
-if you’re rich or poor
-and be broke
We really need an edit button.
You’re problems hold as much weight as the next persons. It’s not a contest.
I feel the discussion here is quite open, with a few exceptions. Don’t feel bad. Share with us. I speak for myself, but I think we need it as much as you do.
You mention suffering from depression but having no history of trauma, a loving family, no deprivation. Exactly. Depression can come from something as straight forward as lacking bioavailable folate. Depression is only a symptom and it’s potential causes are numerous and most of those have no trauma involvement.
And ditto everything clipped-wings said above.
I will say that in regards to sexual and romantic relationships, when I was 19 I also felt like a loser. I had never had a gf, never had sex, never kissed a girl and was bent out of shape about it. I’m 30 now and have had a lot of sex, been in two long term relationships and have been told I’m a good kisser. My point is that 19 is young. Now of course, some people do end up 30 years old and a virgin. It could happen. But that doesn’t change that 19 is still very early and you have a lot of time.