How many of you act all cheery and happy at work or school but dont really feel this way inside? Do you do a good job at wearing this mask? Why do you wear this mask and how long have you been wearing it? Is it benefical at times? Are you actually lonely outside of work? Do you try to blend into the crowd to avoid suspicion that somethings up?
Did it take you a while to master this defensive mechanism? I feel as if it comes naturally to some people and so it’s really hard to tell if they are struggling with personal issues. I want to know because sometimes i feel like it creates a sort of fake vibe from people and you feel like you’re alone due to others appearing happy all the time. I also feel like somebody i know is hiding some things by wearing this mask because he’s so good at it. Apperantly this guy is like super human because i rarely see him express negative emotions. Perhaps he really is just a master at human emotion and staying positive….but then again…maybe he’s wearing the mask. If he is….how do i go about confronting him. He’s a really cool co-worker and so i wish i could help him out every once in a while. I wish i could show him how thankful i am for his positivity because it picks me up when I’m feeling down. By the way I’m a straight dude so no i don’t like him in a romantic way. I just think he’s a really cool homie. So don’t suggest anything weird.
11 comments
No, I really don’t and i hate that. I am sometimes “cheery” and that is simply me trying to make the best of things. It doesn’t take long to notice if even one person is having a really bad day at work that quickly spreads to everyone else’s mood.
But the reverse can also be true, that if you bounce back quick and keep light hearted people’s tempers will melt even if they do feel badly.
And as for that person my suggestion is not to confront him at all. If you appreciate it just talk to him and be genuine. Below the surface people like that may get a real boost from seeing the change they’re trying to make within themselves.
that’s just my opinion though
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’ve ever been “cheery” at work or school (except on my last day, right before leaving!) but I have always tried not to bring my extracurricular problems into the workplace or classroom. Similarly, I do my best to mentally check out of my job at the end of each shift, so that I don’t waste my free time thinking about work-related issues. Of course, this is easier said than done some days.
Regarding your colleague who always seems to be in good spirits, he could be putting on a front – or he might have discovered the secret of being continuously happy (if so, you’ve got to find out and tell me because I’m sick of being a miserable sod most of the time!) Perhaps if you got to know him better, on more than a superficial basis, he’ll eventually open up more and reveal his “real” self for better or worse. In real life, I only feel comfortable talking about the darker side of life to people I’ve known for a very long time, and this guy might be the same way.
I wish I could wear a cheery mask more and pretend that I don’t have problems. I’ve been told that I’m too negative, when really, I’m just being honest about how things are and how I feel.
I’m the same way. I think wearing a mask is the same as lying. If I’m feeling like crap I’m going to say it.
It depends…
When I feel happy (like now) I’m just happy. When my depression kicks in, sometimes I try to hide it, other times I want to analyze and talk about it. Most of the times I just behave in the way I feel. I think that, above all, one must be sincere, not only to others, but, most importantly, to her/his self.
I have to keep my mask on. The moment I take it off, I will be placed back to the psych ward 😉
I only act happy if I am. I think I might come across as bipolar. There’s usually a 50% chance of me telling a coworker to go @#$% him/herself, or doing something equally douchy.
How many of you act all cheery and happy at work or school but don’t really feel this way inside? Five days a week unless a holiday comes during that week.
I act extremely cheerful at work, in public and around most friends. It is efficient. People are nicer, things get done, and cheerful attitudes (like grumpy ones) are contagious, so it often feeds back to me and makes my day better. All for the low price of curling up the edges of your mouth into a smile.
My misery is my own business. I caused it, and I’ll deal with it. So there’s no logical point in showing or spreading it to others. As for the effort, sure, sometimes I have to work at it to make it seem authentic, but for the most part it’s as easy to learn as any social grace like saying please or thank you or holding the door open for the person behind you. No big deal.
I used to wear that mask til exhaustion. And when I was worn into the ground from trying to pretend (so good at it people would ask me if I’m on drugs, and some try to bring me down anyway) and took it off, people turned away from me… It was one of the most painful things ever and to this day I have not forgotten. I sometimes bring the mask out due to habit but often I just push people away instead of showing them that side of me.
I learned it from being in an environment that exploits weakness growing up. I learned the best way to cope was to not react, and then I learnt people refrained from placing abuse, blame and criticism on me if I was just happy. Something weird about psychology.
The lesson to take from it is people only really care how you make them feel, beyond that.. unless your issues benefit them somehow (which is rare but still not ideal) then your issues are your own. At this point a mask either comes up if you still need peoples approval or admiration…or in my case I leave it off. To get most people to leave me be.
Oh yeah i always put on that mask. I couldn’t not even if I wanted to stop. Being around other people subconsciously forces me to act normal even if I feel like shit