I used to care a lot about how people thought of me. I was consumed in an everlasting obsession to always show my best side and never show weaknesses. It obviously didn’t affect me in a positive way. I guess experiencing some hardships in my life did bring quite an unexpected, yet positive change in my personality – I stopped caring. This might look like nothing to someone else, yet, for me, this change was so comforting to me. I’ll do whatever shit I want to do, and that’s that.
Then, I also lost interest in maintaining relationships. I used to feel bad for myself for not having a female best friend like every young woman does. Well, I gave up trying to find a good friend. I’d rather be the good friend to someone else, and frankly, your life is pleasurable with just a few casual friends, to be honest. Oh, not only with friends but with family members did I stop trying to connect. I’m basically an outcast. I chose to be one.
I think not obsessing with certain things is one of the good things hardships can bring. I’m way too happy to be called “depressed,” but I had my ups-and-downs. Even now, I still outline my cutting scars. Scars brought me strength to be myself and not be so obsessed. In a way, I’m thankful for my difficult times in my life.
4 comments
Not caring what others think of you is an extremely wise policy, and as you have wrote above it helps!
depression has its good qualities and its bad ones. depression has made me more compassionate and considerate of others. you never know what they are battling because even if 2 people have the same battle they can react to it completely differently.
It’s okay. No one really knows.
People in life are temporary, best be prepared for that. And if one cannot create and only berate why should it be our business? Not my monkeys, not my circus I try to say to myself… with depression it’s harder. I think we all yearn for someone else to love and understand us, whether that’s a friend or whatevs but really… we save ourselves, no one else.