Trying to keep fighting..

  August 31st, 2018 by fakehappy

I try to be proactive about self improvement but I wasn’t the one that needed to improve. Some of us just get taken advantage of… taken for granted. We have good hearts but instead we are purposely misunderstood, until our voice is crushed under the weight of other people’s bullshit.

My head tells me the fight isn’t over, but what am I fighting for? I don’t want to create a family, I don’t want to pro-create, I don’t want to experience the pain of love again… a temporary endeavour that just takes away the focus from ourselves.

Sometimes I know I want to give up, and sometimes I wonder why anyone keeps trying, and why do people want kids?? That seems insane to me, especially as most people I’ve met with kids either end up on their own raising it, or some bullshit like going to court. Honestly that’s probably a majority of cases in the UK. There’s waay too many people in the world anyway!

…So it seems more like a ball and chain, like marriage, like a job… like any attachment to anyone or anything.

I don’t see much room for freedom and purpose. So, if that’s what looking forward feels like then perhaps that’s just another set of reasons I want to leave.

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