So I’m 18 now, and my boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, started living with me at my parents house after a whole messy thing where I ran away, got hospitalized. It was a mess, but now he broke up with me saying, and I quote, “I’m more than happy to say we are broken up for once”. The reason he said that is because he accused ME of cheating, like none of the bullshit he’s pulled in our relationship was worse than me just talking to a guy who used to be interested in me. Now he always reminds me about how we aren’t together by rubbing his new hook ups in my face, deleting everything about me, actually verbally reminding me that we aren’t together anymore, and just being a complete asshole in general. He still wants to sleep in the same fucking bed as me and stay here and use me and my family even though he doesn’t, and probably never did, love me. I’m not necessarily suicidal right now, just really fucking broken again and I just wish I wasn’t such an unlovable monster so that someone could love me and I won’t get hurt again. I’m trying everything not to cut myself and I’m barely holding on by a thread to resist it. I have to pretend everything is fine and try not to cry too loud so my parents don’t yell at me.