Bad news but expected.

  September 16th, 2018 by fakehappy

So, someone me and one of my ex’s used to try and help for a while died not long ago.

Not just died but killed himself with an overdose in the doorway of a ‘suicide prevention service’.

And then they proceed to write articles about a perfect but troubled ‘beautiful young man’. Are you fucking kidding me, that guy was low-key trouble. He seemed like he held ideologies but when he was on his own with me he’d get funny with me and just help himself to everything in the kitchen. Not to mention the heroin addiction, he wanted to reel me in. Another ex at the time threatened to burn his squat down. I was not in a good place in life at that time. I still wished him the best, just told him to do better… as in stop the drugs.

So yeah, then I heard him play a song as one of my friends on facebook found him wandering another town. By the time I had said to her ‘just be careful’ he had killed himself.

Noone deserves it, it does bother me. In a way I feel like why does he get the easy way out with drugs like that and I stay sober but have to watch people glorify that person. Life’s a joke. Everyone that’s done me wrong has a better life than me, or has escaped this life completely. I have literally just watched a narcissist find a ‘great life’ with another person too and start doing the same crafts as me, sending them as pictures to me. I feel crazy with sadness. I feel lost and why the fuck do I get involved with anyone? I’m an empty jug tryinng to pour out for everyone but no one sees that. I noticed I hadn’t wanted to die in a while today but I think Im just lost in my head. When can things get better?

 

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