I can’t stop falling asleep, no matter how much I try to stay awake I NEED TO SLEEP.
It could be my depression, but I’m not even sure as I have never been like this.
All I know is that I wake up and forget what day it is and the Earth around me feels unreal. I’m currently freaking out as it’s Saturday and I cannot even remember it being Monday!
Maybe I should stop staying awake until 2AM on the Internet. I have a real screwed up relationship with the Internet, I go aimlessly visiting websites for hours on end just to escape from my own problems. The longer I force myself to stay online, the more my head feels detached. And then I forget to eat, to sleep, to engage with my loved ones, etc.
I hate it, I hate the way I’m feeling and it scares me, but at the same time it’s the only control I have over my life.
1 comment
If you’re spending too much time online, the sleep thing could be your body’s way of saying so. Sleep is an escape anyway, so in a sense that’s good..
Any type of spiraling out sucks though. Hopefully you can come across something that works a little better at grounding you.
Sometimes I get like that with time, how it slips away. Can be kinda frustrating and a certain mood of losing it.. I just try to hold on to it and think back til I have my days sorted out where they should be, what happened on this or that day even if its not anything special.