High school

God I hate school so much. Its the worst thing in my life byfar. I always think about killing myself in school, or I think about posts that I will post here. Most of the time I feel like Im about to start crying hysterically but the tears never come so I just stare into nothningness with my eyes so empty that my face expression is scary. I hate teachers. They are so fking arrogant, they know they can do anything to me, they can bully me and I just have to accept it coz I need to pass. They enjoy demonstrating their absolute dominance over me so much (especially female teachers probably coz they can easily recognize that im a low status beta male). I hate my classmates too. They call me by this diminutive of my name ( like if you were talking to a very small child that has my name). At first I didnt care but after a few years It bothers me so much. Its kinda humiliating. They just need to demonstrate that they are above me in social hierarchy. Also they make every little thing possible to make my experience in school even worse. Like for example I dont really need to pay attention in class or learn to get reasonable grades so I just want to do other things like reading books or doing stuff on my tablet. But I cant. The teachers wouldnt notice but what my classmates do is they just turn around in my dirrection and start staring at my book or tablet so the teacher notices and punishes me. Or If I fall  asleep or just lay my head on the deskl my classmates always wake me up by putting a pen deep into my ear or smashing my head against the desk.  Also the whole school system is so corrupt and broken that it makes me sick. You dont ever learn anything useful. You dont ever learn the way that it would actually be interesting. People that get the best grades are in most cases so dumb its mindboggling. They just learn how to navigate in the system, how to suck teachers dicks and learn for like 5 hours a day just so their parrents are proud and their ego is satisfied. Its disgusting. What the fk is wrong with these parrents? (thank god my parrents are normal – i mean my mom and stepdad, my father is crazy lol but i dont live with him so w/e) All they want is their kid to be succesful so they could brag around their friends about their achievements. Thats seriously fked up.