i’m not depressed, i’ve just ruined life for myself. i don’t blame people for hating me.
but please, stop looking at me with those eyes, like you feel sorry for me or some shit. i don’t care, i don’t need your pity. i know i’m ugly, i’m know i’m unlikeable, i know i’m a nervous wreck, you don’t need to remind me.
to everyone i’ve ever hurt: i’m sorry. i’m sorry i’m a screw up, i’m sorry i’m over dramatic, i’m sorry for being so unlikeable and the being the biggest burden to ever walk the earth (and don’t tell me i’m not a burden, because i am, and people are just too nice to say it).
i can’t live in this body anymore. i can’t feel this alone and unloved anymore, it is KILLING ME. i am the shell of the person I used to be. i used to be funny, pretty, athletic, liked. now i’m ugly, anxious, awkward, and irritable.
my own mother thinks i’m annoying, because i’m not the pretty, outgoing, well-liked young woman she was. she can’t stand to listen to me. i’m sorry mom, that i wasn’t your perfect daughter.
the pain hurts so bad. it is unbearable to be living life like everything is fine when really i feel so alone. so alone and so incredibly small.
and to my friends, i’m sorry for embarrassing you. i’m sorry for making you look bad in front of everyone. i know your new friends will treat you better.
i am so done.