I worry my life is gonna crumble

  September 9th, 2018 by Beneathetide

I’ve been pretty good for quite a while, but recently I’ve felt depression trying to squeeze in again. Last week I had a big episode, suddenly feeling like life was pointless for no reason, etc, lots of crying and anxiety over nothing. Well my husband wanted to talk about it, but my instinct was to isolate myself and avoid him, so I left for a walk in the middle of the night which upset/hurt him and he told me that it made him contemplate a divorce. I don’t think he truly meant it and I think he was mostly lashing out in return to kinda threaten me so I wouldn’t avoid him like that, but I can’t stop thinking about it. We were fine the next day and things returned to normal, but everything feels different now. I don’t really believe him when he tells me he loves me. And when he plays around and jokes with me I can’t help but think it might not last. I’m just devastated he’d actually go so low as to threaten divorce, and then just forget it ever happened. I’m trying to stay positive, as I don’t want depression to ruin something good, but this feeling is subtly haunting me and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve just been going about life like normal, and I feel okay, but inside I feel like I might crumble and break down if I don’t figure out my feelings. Advice?

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