I’m thinking of giving up

Do you think they’d be less upset by your loss if it was an accident over a suicide? They’ll miss you regardless of how it happened. Yes they might feel slightly worse and blame themselves if you ended your life but it’d have roughly the same effect on them.

I’d suggest making a video explaining why you felt you had to go through with it and inform that it is not their fault but a personal decision. This way they’d get some closure knowing why you did it.

It’s a similar case for me, I have a few family members that keep me around, but ultimately this is my life and I cannot keep on living just to make other people happy if I am very miserable in my existence and no longer want to live. I’m nowhere near that stage yet but if my life does get worse than it really won’t matter to me who I leave behind, I will end my pain and suffering.

Keep in mind, everyone you know will also die one day as well. They have their own life and problems to deal with. They might end their life on their own terms also. For example, if I got a terminal illness, I’d seek out euthanasia once I felt my condition was starting to deteriorate. So in short your family matters but your life matters, even more, that’s how I see it for myself.