I got through the worst of it yesterday but its only a matter of time before i relapse. And im back in that same dark place. I know you want me to survive. I know you need me to survive but i cant anymore. I ran out of rom on my arm. Ive become a little more reckless. I wonder whats next. My other arm? My legs? My fiance told me he saw them yesterday for some reqaon that just makes it worse. So i did it again. Ill cut 2-6 times a day now. I was doing so good i wasnt cutting at all. Now i lay in bed scared to get up because it got worse yesterday when i got up. If i could just make the pain stop. Im getting closer to the end, i can feel it.
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Im sorry. I feel it too. I cant see anything beyond the pain right now. I hope you feel better. I hope you dont give up. I cut too. Idk maybe I think I can make it hurt on the outside, more than on the inside.
Well on top of everything I can’t find one of my cats and she was always right there to hug me when I was sad. I just don’t know. She didnt come to supper earlier and I haven’t seen her all day.