Home Chronic Pain I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade
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I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade

by sansfranzdeput

I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and awkward questions to friends- the few of whom remain. I think and consider seriously death now more and more, often weighing my sorrow against the distraught tatters of my act: thinking of my parents, and now moved away siblings- what would my suicide do to them; how selfish would that be for my to take my own God given life?


Take the sorrow, tinged harkened green,

And take the weary luck too;

For I’d far soon rather go unseen

Into forests and caves with you.


I am sorry. I’m a stupid, broken, fat failure, and can never be loved.

1 comment

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1 comment

franzeska 9/8/2018 - 7:56 am

Oh beautiful! You are very well with words! What you crave is the very basic wish of all of us. And it is right, we cannot go through life alone. Odd and awkward questions to friends indeed…

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