Maybe I’d fake my death

  September 3rd, 2018 by endlessmonster

I’ve pushed away so many people, most of the people in my life even. I’m all alone now and I’ve thought about dying, but as hard as things are I’m scared of death. But I want a chance to make all those people feel something for me again, to send the notes I’ve written to them where I can speak freely because I’d be gone. What I perhaps selfishly want is to see their reactions, though. Maybe what I want is less to kill myself than to fake my death. But I’d still be alone… actually fully alone at that point. So I’d probably just end up back where I am. This whole cycle of life feels futile…

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