i sit here a domestic violence survivor and victim and I am shattered/broken, and living in pain with a injury that my abusive husband delivered to me a year plus ago and becouse my options are very few ‘i dont have a car, my income in zero, my injury has also been left untreated a year plus, it astounds my soul that i will never recieve assistance or justice and failed by california and society and disgusted at the same time how the so called ‘counselors’ as a domestic violence survivor and victim i want to know do they recieve any training at all? becouse i seriously question there motives and abilities, i reached out to lifeline yesterday/lastnight because all im going thru and i was thinking of self harm and this cold woman ‘jennie’ just dismisses me? i am a domestic violence survivor and victim, i struggle with each day major depression and anxiety panic disorder and schizophrenia and having thoughts of doing myself self harm and she just dimisses me like that? degrading and dehuminzing me more ive already been by dismissing me and flipping the hell ive been through into bubblegum and flowers, and if chat logs were to be read or seen i did not exit the conversation untill she decided to play games with my mind and flip things, so I left the conversation, I am a abuse survivor and I am still fighting to survive and I don’t have to tolerate being treated like that, no one has the Gods given right to degrade and dehumanize me, I do a pretty good job of that myself, I reached out for understanding compassion and assistance and she DID NOT even do a email follow up with me which the website ‘claims’
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At the very least, nobody here is going to degrade and dehumanize you. We’re all humans here.
I’m sorry for the pain you have to endure.
I’m in group therapy at the moment, and in this type of therapy they say you shouldn’t keep picking at old wounds, because it prevents them from healing. Basically, the idea is that the mind will heal itself if you give it time.
Try to shift your focus to other things. Accept that there will be plenty of pain in the background trying to get your attention.
I really dunno what to think of this comment. If it were only that easy to ‘shift ones focus to other things’
It’s not necessarily easy. And it doesn’t mean the pain won’t still be there in the background. But in my limited experience, it works better than focusing on the pain, which I think can actually amplify it.
Your mind already discounts lots of what your senses take in. There is so much we already overlook. When you walk into your room, do you notice every little thing? I doubt it, because it’s your room, and you know it so well that your mind has decided that there is likely to be no new information, so you don’t really notice things. But if someone moves something while you’re away, THEN you might notice.
I can offer you an example from my own life: My fridge is quite noisy at times. The other night, I woke up, and it was humming away, which kind of irritated me. In the past I would probably have listened intently to it, growing more and more pissed-off. Then I might have thought about why I had to live in such a small appartment that I can hear the fridge from my bed. Then I might have thought of how much my life sucks in general. About always being single, always being alone, not having a career, etc. Before long, I might be thinking suicidal thoughts.
But instead, this time I tried to focus on something else outside of myself, as I had been taught. I decided to listen for traffic. I couldn’t really hear any, but merely listening for it, focusing your mind on that place in the distance where you think the noise would come from, that pushed the hum of the fridge to the background. And before long, I wasn’t all that bothered by it. So I fell back asleep.
I suffered domestic violence too for years upon years. Councillors are useless, all they do is say the generic stuff which probably doesn’t help anyone (including myself)