On Telling

How can you tell someone when telling means they’d put you in basically a prison, making your life just that much worse. Sure, escaping the life you’re living is nice, but you lose any previous comforts, you lose any friends, you lose the support online, you lose the funny post that made you laugh, you lose all connection. You’re left alone, scared, being told things you don’t believe. By people with a false attitude, being paid to tell you that you’re okay. You’re told that you have to stay here for not days, not weeks, months. Years in some cases. You lose hope for future. You missed finishing your semester, you missed getting your drivers license, you missed that early job experience. You miss crucial things in life. Now, you come up with a plan. It takes so much effort. But you put on a smile. Slowly at first. Then, by the time you’re free, your smile is there, you don’t even notice that something so fake is still there. Now you’re left with a life that’s been ruined just a bit more. A family who doesn’t understand that because you’re out, you’re not better. You’ve grown pretty distant from the few people you knew. Now you’re back with all your problems, living with the people who made it worse. Habits return. Long ago, you tried to feel better, but these attempts have grown weaker. You don’t see the hope.